Friday, April 1, 2016

My Encounter with an Evil Man Masquerading as a Lawyer

I wrote this article a while back, but shelved it because I did not want to relive a certain event. However, with the rise of politically hateful rhetoric in the news, I decided to dust it off and let it see the light of day. April Fools Day seems an appropriate day since the article talks about encountering one of the biggest fools I have ever met. It is lengthy and just my opinion. Read it or not... at least I got it off my chest.

During a routine legal meeting, my wife and I had to sign documents and interact with a lawyer who was handling the paperwork. The procedure should have taken about 45 minutes to sign a stack of forms, but it took almost twice that. The reason it went over was that we were preached the most morally repulsive, racist and misogynistic "sermon of the 1%" by the man assigned to us.

I consider myself open-minded and independent when it comes to politics. To me, there are very few black and white answers in this world and no one party is completely right. Both have made favorable and terrible decisions that have affected Americans. I have no political agenda here except to relate a story of a very selfish and privileged man and his view of the world.

The identity of Mr. Jones has been changed, but the rest is the truth.
The lawyer, who I will call "Mr. Jones" (not his real name), seemed friendly enough at first. He was a Vietnam veteran and those guys automatically get my highest respect. Perhaps that is one reason I did not tell him where he could shove his opinions. I felt like I was jeopardizing our mortgage refinance if I got into a confrontation with him. I believe he thought this too, which is why he took advantage of the situation to push his unsolicited world view onto us.

At first "Mr. Jones" let us know his position on women's roles, which seemed to be that women have the "right to look pretty" and "know their place as a happy little home maker or toy for men". To him, women are "doe eyed" weak creatures meant to be protected by macho men like himself.  He kept calling his wife a sweet little innocent thing, kinda like what some would say about a kitten in a bathtub. "Aww... bless her heart". This was mysteriously said right after he learned my wife is a very successful and professional woman in with a "real" career.

With all his talk of protecting women, he had no problem crossing the line of decency in front of MY wife. Within 10 minutes he had disclosed that his female assistant and his wife deserved a spanking. I am sure that he felt qualified to administer their "punishment". He started ramping up the nastiness of his randy talk from here.  He seemed to enjoy being hateful towards women who dared to think for themselves.

No matter how we tried to deflect him back to the paperwork, he kept divulging less favorable stories about himself. He had been "embarrassed" on Facebook when he accidentally broadcasted crass sexual harassing comments to a young female law student who sincerely wanted to visit his practice on a professional basis. He was not sorry that he acted inappropriately and unprofessionally... just that he got caught by his wife and colleagues on this new "fangled social media". There is a big difference there. He was actually chuckling about the incident. We were not.

"Mr. Jones" just kept blabbing, even bringing up his sexual escapades when he was a young man cheating on hist first wife. He almost went misty eyed at that point remembering those "good ole days". If you thought "Mr. Jones" was going to stop there, then you are wrong. He proceeded launching nuggets of racial and societal hate speech our direction. He assumed that since we are caucasian too, we would be standing in his aisles with our hands in the air singing "Hallelujah brother! Preach that gospel!", but he could not have been more mistaken. We were squirming and biting our lips.

As we kept signing papers, he "shock and awed" us with even more brain-numbing rhetoric of how the U.S. government is completely evil and mistreats rich people, and how the top "1% of society should have absolute preferential treatment" since they make the economy that trickles down for the rest of the peasants in the lower economic levels.

He said that poor or underprivileged people should be left to fend for themselves thus saving the resources of society for only the smartest and most deserving people (like him). He did not go into specifics on how that would work, but he gave an example of how some ancient societies threw deformed babies over a cliff, and he was "okay with that". His inference was that parts of our society might benefit from a purge. Wow! Really? At this point, I started looking around for Nazi memorabilia and the quickest exit.

"Mr. Jones" was probably the biggest self-righteous creep that I have ever met. He thought so highly of himself and so little of everyone else that he felt compelled to tell two complete strangers how the world should be according to "The Imperial Emperor Jones". He did not care how mean or ignorant he sounded because he loved the sound of his own voice. But the scariest realization is that this man was a trained lawyer, yet had no sense of decency or visible morality.

While I believe in free speech and that "Mr. Jones" has every right to believe whatever he wants and to voice his opinion, I also believe that his clients should not be subjected to his one man hate show. I am hoping beyond belief that the karmic toilet bowl of life flushes that turd as quickly as possible. Enough said.